четвъртък, юли 20


Mr George W. Bush

The most popular picture which Lobster Blogster has ever included is this one of the esteemed Mr George W. Bush. Please enjoy!

сряда, юли 19


Lobster Blogster Finds a New Friend

The lobster finds himself being saluted by a gentleman by the name of Kerron Cross. Kerron is The Voice of the Delectable Left, councillor for South Oxhey and a resident of Croxley Green. The lobster used all the powers that a lobster focussed search engine can bring to bear in order to track down a James Brown duck.

There's more to tell about the lobster and Kerron, but prehaps we'll leave that for another day...

Life Experience List

Found this at My Rambling Thoughts. A list of 150 key life experiences and all you have to do is bold the ones you have achieved.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (Watford FA Cup 1984 + Aussie Rules Final 1988 + various Test Matches)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa (now closed to the public)
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars (my preference when camping)
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip on a hot air balloon (but always wanted to since given a book on hot air ballooning by an aunt)
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Got drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (Kamen Briag, Bulgaria 1999)
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales (seen dolphins, flying fish and seals but not a whale yet)
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing (not a fan though, prefer walking)
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken for longer than when you were in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero (I am one, I'm told, so this isn't pretending)
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud (I was in charge of a swamp for a whole week once)
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest (Fred Flintstone - I won an Oscar for it)
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert" (went on the radio in Bulgaria once)
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage (as a Red Indian in a cub show)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand (couldn't buy a return ticket on the train from Singapore, and couldn't get a visa without a return ticket - went to Brunei instead)
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently (schoolboy French, smattering of pidgin, atrocious Bulgarian)
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country (Brussells to Utrecht and back to Bruges)
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (cycled the Severn Bridge a few time though)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life (jointly with a friend after a hike in Switzerland rescued a boy who fell out of a small dinghy - reward salami sandwiches)

Thanks Louise, I enjoyed that. I won't tag anyone, but if you do do this, let me know in the comments and I will link to you here.

вторник, юли 18


New Hope for Peace

There was a real hope for peace expressed by George Bush and Tony Blair when they met recently to discuss the escalating conflict between Israel and Lebanon.

Key points were:

1. Tony Blair has taken up knitting
2. He's already found himself a new job as Condoleezza Rice's assistant
3. George Bush summed up his personal peace plan as follows:

You see the irony is what they need to is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's all over...

Is the lobster joking here? Try Bush and Blair's unguarded chat

понеделник, юли 17


President Bush and President Bush Like to go Spin Fishing

President George Bush and President George W Bush like going fishing when there's nothing else to do.


Quick Lesson In Spin Fishing

Suppose you want to make an annoucement, but your blog doesn't normally attract a great deal of hits.

Suppose you are left leaning, but not too far to the left.

What's a good way of making your annoucement?

1. Generate a brou-ha-ha via an anonymous comment (search for Kerron in comments) to a right wing blog (perhaps even chuck a guy on your bonfire to make a big smoke-signal).

2. Lots of fire and smoke gets you talked about. When you know you've be spotted, hide the original evidence.

3. Make you annoucement as planned. If you have friends in high places, they they can ensure the fire is correctly doused.

OUTCOME: You've generate lots of bad press for your far left adversary. There will be a few singed eyebrows on the right-wing blogs when they discover they were had (but they won't be keen to advertise the fact), and you can continue your original witterings...

PLUS you are now very well in with the new boss "After Blair Stands Down".

One or two pointers to help out those new to world of spin:

- apart from displaying a huge very sad smiley icon with a tear in its eye at the start of post, Mr Cross expresses no emotion about the fact he has been "threatened". In fact he seems quite unfazed when he says "Yeah, I don't think the problem is at my end on this one, but hey ho, there you go."
- Mr Cross doesn't actually apologise for what he has done. He stands by it, but has just pulled the post.
- The threatening "legal action" is that his foe 'reported me to the Chief Whip under new PLP rules' (both legal and action, geddit?).

Of course the lobster could be swimming up the wrong creek, but it was actually the old guy sitting on the bonfire who invented the "threaten to sue" line from Mr McDonnell. No lawsuits are expected to follow what is after all a story about the contents of someone's telephone answering message.

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